SMC Wellbeing
Grief and loss
7 stages of grief
1.
SHOCK & DENIAL - You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
2.
PAIN & GUILT- As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs. You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.
3.
ANGER & BARGAINING - Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the loss on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.
4.
"DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS- Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.
During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you.
5.
THE UPWARD TURN - As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.
6.
RECONSTRUCTION - As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
7.
ACCEPTANCE & HOPE -During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.
Websites with more information
What it is?
Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, or to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioural, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions.
Common reasons why people grieve
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Death- death of a person close to you in some way
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Losing ability to do something- losing the ability to do something you love
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Death of a pet
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Relationship ending
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Losing a job
How to support people through grief
The best way to support your friends or someone close to you, who is going through grief is to be supportive and caring, show that you care and are able to help them when they need support from you.
How to 'Process' it?
Grief is a 'normal' feeling and takes time to get over it in your own way. Remember it is ok to express how you feel however you want to. Everyone processes their grief differently and all experience different feelings in their situations and have to tackle it in different ways to help them get on track.
For some people talking is a really important way to get over grief and can really help you.
What to do if things persist?
There is no medication for grief. It takes time to come to realisation of what has happened.
If you experience depression or further issues contact your doctor and they might tell you to go see a counsellor or someone to help you further.
Symptoms you may feel
Shock and disbelief – Straight after a loss, like when someone passes away, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may not believe what you are hearing and expect the person to turn up at any moment.
Sadness – Complete sadness, emptiness or loneliness are what most people describe when they talk about their experience of grief. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable, alternately you may not cry at all and feel numb.
Guilt – You may feel terribly guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do, or about how you are feeling.
Anger – Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and have a desire to ‘blame someone’ for what has happened – yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died.
Fear – After a significant loss you may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. If you have lost a loved one you may worry about how you can manage on your own without them.
Physical symptoms – We often think of grief as an emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including fatigue, nausea, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains, and not being able to sleep or sleeping too much.
Email Help
In school
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Deans
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Counsellors-
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If you are struggling with further issues go to your GP or a health care professional